Wednesday, August 02, 2006

MY Dear Husband

It was a while ago when you used to drive for 2-3 hr. and bring a rose & card to see me at my work and college… You did this for quite a few times until I said “yes” against my father’s wish cuz I knew you would be a great husband since you care to come that far almost 1-2 times a week just to see me. You still are a great husband but where is that romantic guy whom I married? Did he disappear soon after our marriage? Is there any way we came bring him back? Even though you are a great guy I miss the “you”, I met before marriage.

You are a great guy and I feel lucky

When I say lets order food for almost every meal of the week and you say ok…

When I decide to choose everything in the house and you go along with me..

When you take care of the kids whenever I want you to.. You change them and feed them when I am too exhausted to do that after a long long day..

When you say Saturday is my day & mostly Sundays too and I can plan whatever..

When I buy lots of things which I don’t need or use and some of them are still unpacked but you don’t say anything And the next time we go out you still ask me to buy something..

When I say and you make a nice cup of tea for me.. even though you don’t drink tea still you can make it perfect for me (well most of the times)

When I say I am missing India and you tell me to visit there anytime..

When you call the kids every other day when we were in India..

When you tell me to go sleep while you take care of the kids…

When I call my family in India sometimes everyday and you don’t say anything..

When we go on long drives including our trips to far away kiddy places..

But what I want to know is that

Why can’t you appreciate when I cook keeping the kids busy while talking & doing stuff for them which takes my double energy still you don’t happily eat what I made.. Not that the food I cook isn’t good but you don’t like to comment.. Well Its ok once in a while to appreciate the effort and making a comment on something beside stuffing your head in tv with no expression AT ALL.. which leads to me thinking why the heck did I trouble myself & kids and decide to order the next time or the whole next week..

Yes, you let me choose stuff for the house but why couldn’t you give any opinion or just pretend to say few things, if you like it or not after all its your house too… We were still going to buy the stuff I picked out but I wouldh’ve been happy to know that you are equally excited to decorate the house too instead of just driving me around to all the furniture places..

You take care of the kids only when I ASK you to or sometimes tell you to do 20 times before you do it.. Why can’t you take care of them a bit every day so that I can relax and do something for myself.. You say the kids want me around while sleeping or other stuff but all I have to say is to give it a try for few times and let them get used to to you.. Don’t expect me to be there every minute when you are taking care of the kids otherwise there is no use for your taking care if I can’t finish cleaning or just want to sit alone for some time or do other stuff which I was planning to do when you take care of the kids..

Even though we have picked few kid friendly places where we go during weekends why you ask me tell you every weekend where to go.. Why can’t you say “ok lets go there today”.. Which will make me think that you are just not the driver to take us where we want but you are interested in what we do for the kids and its not a punishment for you of the weekend.. Not that you don’t like where we go but I am fed up deciding every time..

Most of the times I buy lots of things for kids but you don’t say anything because in your mind, me buying stuff is a replacement or making up for the no attention during the week and shopping is happiness for me especially when I get something for kids..

Every morning You watch tv in the kitchen drinking milk & eating bananas but tell me how hard it is to put a tea bag, sugar & water in the cup and leave it in the microwave. You will do that if I ASK you shouting from the bathroom “Can you make tea”.. I can do it too.. no big deal but sometimes doing things without me ASKING for it will make me feel that you care.. that’s all..

I know anytime I want I can pack our bags & go to India but it kills me to think that you must be happy to be alone & not miss us even for a second.. Even though you say that what I THINK and its not true but I know you, if we weren’t married, you wouldh’ve been happily working 24 hrs. a day even forget to eat sometimes too.. But I don’t know anyone who can live so many days without their family and not miss them.. And YOU call them LOSER.. but let me tell you those LOSERS have a satisfying life.. Even though You say that everybody don’t get everything but I really wish you were that type of family loving loser.. I would take that type of loser anytime over your type..

Why do I have to tell you to call us when we are in India so that people will feel that you care about us.. Even when you call you can’t find anything to talk about.. And in explanation you say that “you know Im not the talking type” but what happens to not talkative type when you talk about whats going all over the world.. See my world is my family and I want you to talk about us too..

I can go to sleep when you take care of the kids only if you watch them the whole time without watching tv or keep playing with them and keeping them busy so they don’t hurt themselves or you don’t need to slap them & make them cry within 5 minutes I leave.. I still don’t feel that you can responsibly take care of them cuz even when I tell you look after them when I want to drink tea peacefully I have to tell you so many times to stop them from hurting themselves or fighting.. Show me that you are capable when Im there and I will be able to trust you with kids more..

Sometimes I even call twice a day to talk to my family in India because I need to make an adult conversation with someone.. To fill the void and feel that someone care about me, I call India alot..

You know I love long drives and you always want to take me to see beautiful places since we got married and now when we take kids to far places to show them stuff but you have to know that sitting quietly for that long without ANY conversation or even a peep, is not fun.. how long can you hear the songs after all and you go out on drives so that you can get away from things, share & feel the love for each other but tell me how can we do that without even talking.. you are not a driver who takes orders & go.. so try to act like a husband not a driver..

And I HATE HATE when you say that taking care of the kids is no work and what YOU do is work and hard.. let me tell you if you just let them wonder and ignore what they are doing or getting hurt or killing each other, its not a work but when you care them not to make them cry, try to keep them busy & teach them things which I think you lack in your personality, its lots of work..

Even though I feel this way about things like other wives on the earth who has complaints against their husbands still I love you and I can’t live without you but I wish you had feelings to appreciate things & respect me.. Things are not that important but feelings are.. You are a great guy & great father but I really wish you had few feelings to feel the warmth of love and understand me..

You always treat my like a queen but whats the fun when you just act like you are serving me.. I want you to be the KING of this queen not a servant..


Anonymous said...

i agree with u completely, when our husband acts like that. i really enjoy reading ur blogs. bijal

kuchchoo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

hi...ive never imagined dat der cud b a replica of my hus somewer..wen u write each word ..i can imagine how u feel deep inside..dat ..somethin ..dats missing frm r lives.kaash r husbands cud understand dis.

mommyof2 said...

anon: kaash *sigh*

by kb! said...

very much liked that that you expresses what you thought....

keep writing...