Thursday, November 30, 2006

Bahu or Jamai

This morning

Hubby- You know you should be ready for a Bahu or Jamai.

Me- Of course, we will have a Bahu & a Jamai.

Hubby- Yeah, but I am taking about A.

Me- What?

Hubby- Y’day I asked him if anyone kissed him in the school and you know what he said

Me- What?

Hubby(smiling)- Dilen

I asked him again and he said the same

Me- LOL!! Seriously??

Hubby- Yeah

Me- Oh he doesn’t know.. Dilen is his friend and A likes to make up stories these days.. If someone visit a school or college in India they will think everybody is gay & lesbians because of the way they act.. No big deal.. Its just the way you look at it..

Me (thinking)- (I have to talk to A about this too.. )

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


All the baby love has turned our princess into a baby:-) Nose was always a Nose for her but since last few week it had turned into “Noni” :-) She touches her Nose and say “Noni” then she point to her and say her name.. Then she touch my “Noni” and point to me saying “mama”.. yes, mama’s noni.. And she does the same for A & hubby.. Even though it’s a step backward, she look so cute saying it and I can kiss her 100 times in those few seconds.. I am falling in love all over again with my baby :-)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Really want to have a daughter??

Few days back I read an article by Emily, who is a mother of three boys, on wanting to have a "daughter" to take care of her and I wanted to post for Tharini & other mother of boys who really want to have a girl..

(This is the article by Emily)
Three months after my third son was born, we took our first vacation as a family of five to the Bahamas. It was then that I discovered how a mother with three sons seems to attract frequent and not always appealing comments, ranging from “God Bless you” to “No girls?” The “No girls?” one always bothered me, and by the end of the trip, I finally resorted to a quick comeback. Responding to a woman working at airport security, I said with great conviction, “Oh no, my three girls are at home!”

A friend of mine once said that anyone who says they don’t care about having children of all the same sex is lying. I have another friend who put it more gently, and I think most accurately, by saying that everyone would like the experience of raising both a boy and a girl but it really doesn’t matter what you ultimately have. I have plenty of friends that have either three boys or three girls, but it is the mothers with the three (or more) boys who inevitably get the attention from strangers as well as friends with their insensitive musings. A mother to three girls hears “Oh, how cute” while a mother to three boys gets “Oh, how do you do it?”

In my small suburban town, there is actually a club called “Mothers of Boys” and to qualify, you must be a mother to three or more boys with no girls at all. I’m not sure if it’s a support group or an excuse to socialize. Nevertheless, there is something about having that third boy that makes us stand out and garner reactions that usually border on pity. Sometimes I find them downright amusing but other times they slug me in that vulnerable spot, knowing that I may never have a daughter. The comments that sting the most come from women who have had two boys, then give birth to a girl. These mothers brag to me, “I got my girl!” Or some women say with relief, “My husband finally got it right!” When I was lamenting to one of my friends with three boys that I never cared about having a little girl to dress up in pretty pink outfits, she quickly agreed and said, “I don’t want a girl; I want a daughter.”

That was it, exactly. When I think about the close relationship I have with my own mother, it wasn’t until my late teens when our mother-daughter bond truly evolved. We got over the hump of those hideous teenager years and became best friends. Whether it was going on shopping sprees, having long phone calls discussing friendship woes, planning my wedding or obsessing about my pregnancies, my mother was and still is a constant source of stability, strength and inspiration. I can only dream of passing on that kind of love and support to my own daughter.

I should interject at this point that days after I gave birth to our sweet, third boy, I told my husband that I thought I wanted one more child. Everyone, including him, immediately assumed it was because I wanted to try for a girl. But that really wasn’t it; at least I didn’t think so. I realized that my two older sons were two years apart while my third little guy was four years younger than his middle brother. My 4 and 6 year olds appeared to be eons ahead of him and now I felt he needed a “buddy” to grow up with, trick-or-treat with, sleigh-ride with, ride the day camp bus with— activities that my two older ones now do together. By the time my third son was ready to join them and really revel in these doings, they would be done, or almost done, with that phase of their childhood. During this conversation, my husband’s face instantly went pale with fear. He probably attributed my announcement to wacky hormones so I decided not to bring up the subject again for a while.

What would make me hesitate on number four more than my husband’s panic, however, would be that if I did get pregnant, I would dread the nine months of pressure and speculation from all the onlookers on whether or not we were having a girl or another boy. It’s both stressful and annoying. My husband and I never find out the sex beforehand because frankly, we truly don’t care! However, the rest of the world not only seems to care but to make wagers, predict and relay their own anxieties about the sex of our child.

It was during this Bahamas trip that I had a chance conversation with a woman by the pool who helped me come to terms with what may or may not be my destiny of being a mother to three sons. She told me that she too had three boys and then her fourth child was a girl. I told her that I too was thinking of having a fourth because I didn’t feel “done” yet. I also told her how I loved having three boys but that I had a close relationship with my mother and before I even finished my thought about wanting a daughter, she finished it for me: “I wanted someone to brush my hair for me when I can’t do it anymore.” Yes, that was it! Not the girl, but the daughter.

The woman by the pool saw my face get this faraway, sad look but that was when she said all the right things. “Don’t worry,” she consoled. “If you never have a daughter, I can promise you that one of your sons will assume that role for you. In fact, one of my sons is more of a daughter to me than my own daughter.”

Ever since that conversation, I am comforted and enlightened by the realization that a daughter won’t necessarily sprout from giving birth to a little girl. She may be one of my sons or a future daughter-in-law or one of my nieces. I know that I would have stepped in as the “caretaker” for my mother-in-law after her knee-replacement surgery if she didn’t have her own daughter offer to fly to Arizona to help feed, dress and bathe her. When I try to imagine if my daughter will in fact be one of my sons, I assess each of their burgeoning personalities for hints. My oldest son enjoys caring for his youngest brother and sometimes demands the involvement in dressing, bathing and feeding him. My middle son is incredibly attuned to other people’s emotions, including his own. And my youngest, now 2, is so precious and cuddly: He wraps himself around my heart each time he asks me for a hug and a kiss several times a day. My three sons are all so different and thus already fulfill distinct roles within our family. For now, I still do most of the hair brushing in my house but when the time comes for someone to take care of me, I know my daughter will find me.

Monday, November 20, 2006

This is how I wear my....

Well every time I try the different way but most of the time I start like this

But the end result is always something like this

Sometimes lace on the side

And sometimes half lace showing to get a different look

Next time you should try the same way and I bet you will be happy like me:-) Don't take me word for it, just try it and see:-)

Before & After Mundan

We did her mundan few days back. She was crying so bad after few minutes of starting and I thought I might have to shave the rest of her hair the next day but did it anyway. She didn't let me fix the forehead line so its been a bit crooked but no big deal:-) I really don't like taklu kids unless they are new born.. These are few before & after mundan pics.. last one is with spiderman stickers all over her face.. She has put lots of stickers on the other side of her face & on the back of her head but she didn't let me take the pic..

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Thanks for your prayers. She is doing ok now, came back from hospital but in lots of pain cuz of the tube they had inserted near her chest to drain the infected blood. They will be getting detailed pathology report on Friday & then they will decide the next step. As of now the cyst was more than they expected so doc said to have the chemotherapy for at least a year. They were very scared the other day cuz chemotherapy means its serious than they imagined.

I wasn’t getting the right picture of the whole situation as they were really depressed and start crying every time I called.. I got the doctor’s name & googled it and guess what, I found his 2 home#, cell# & address :-) so talk to him instead.. Can you believe it.. I was so shocked that we can do lots of things sitting here and fill the gap of not being there personally.. My other bhua & chacha was there with them & even they didn’t get to talk to the doc & I did sitting saath samundar paar:-)

Another very good thing is that I found a site to send gifts within 2 hrs. :-) yup, 2 hr... I tried their service 3-4 times before and the cake I send was always fresh & wonderful. This time I send flowers & cake to hospital (after the surgery) & they delivered before 12 in the noon while ordering the cake around 7 in the morning.. Y’day I placed an order for flowers to send their home since she was discharged a day early & they delivered in less than 2 hrs. and in Delhi it takes 2 hrs. to get from point A to B. And prices are damn good.. 50 flowers are for less than $10 with shipping & everything.. People do use and (same owner). I told them I will recommend it to everybody so if you do use these sites just say(in the special request) that we found u from a friend’s blog in NJ:-) It will make me feel good not that Im getting anything out of it:-)

Kids are doing all right.. well almost all right but Im been very sick.. My whole body hurts, even ears & jaw too. If I won’t get better by tomorrow morning I will have to go the doctor. So I will be back in 2-3 days & visit everybody’s blog which I am been missing lately… or I will just sit & read new posts & comment later;-)

Thanks again everybody for ur prayers.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

If you could spare a prayer..

My Bhua is having surgery to remove the cancer cyst tomorrow morning. Please pray for her..

I can’t believe how much India has improved. On Friday My Uncle read an article in the newspaper, insist my bhua to get it checked as she had lump around 10m back and all the tests came back normal but he said to get it done anyway.. On Saturday they met the doctor who said it was breast cancer.. On Monday they took second opinion, Tuesday did all the tests, Wednesday they got all the reports back and now she is in the hospital to get the surgery done in the morning (Indian time).

Thanks for any extra prayers.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

What A Week

  • Both Kids are down with cold & cough. A had fever for few days, bad cough, which doctor thinks is seasonal & will be gone after thanksgiving (I blame day care for this;-) and now Gudiya has fever too. She is breathing funny since last night so taking her to doc in the evening.
  • Found out that my Bhua has breast cancer.. She has thyroid for almost 18 years & now this.. Just today they got the results of all the tests.. Its early stage still she will have to go through the surgery & everything else after that for the rest of her life..
  • I have this throbbing headache for 3-4 days, which is not going away even with medicine.
  • I am sleeping with A on my one arm & gudiya holding my other hand for almost the whole night since couple of days and now I got this twist on the back of my neck & I can’t turn my head on the left side..
  • Gudiya isn’t eating anything since 2 days so trying to feed her & give her med even 3-4 in the morning.. Today we were up around 4, had 3-4 spoons of soup while looking at the rain.. Whole day I am after her with something so that she could eat 1-2 spoons after every hr.
  • I feel this heartache every time she coughs & gets up every 2-3 hour at night too.. Poor baby..
  • We did her “Mundan” on Sunday and will post the pic in a day or 2.
  • On Friday I went to pick him up and “that” girl came running after him with their teacher running after her.. She hugged him & kissed him again.. So I had a little talk with A while coming back

    “What did I tell you about not to kiss anyone”
    “I didn’t kiss her mommy.. She kissed me”
    “Then why didn’t u say, “my mommy said no kissing””
    “Because….” (yeah that’s what he said)
    “Because what!”
    “Because I like it when she kisses me” :-O
    (Pause for few seconds..)
    “There is noting to like, OK. Just play with everybody and no kissing”
    “But I like it”
    “Ok, I gonna watch you from my computer at home and if you kiss her or let her Kiss you I am going to send a policeman there”
    “No Mamma”
    “Oh Yeah, you watch.. The minute I see a kiss a policeman will come & take you guys”
    “No mamma”
    “ OK,then NO KISSING”
    “ OK”

  • And I can’t think of any spicy, chatpati & fadkati hui dish that could sooth me..

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Happy Halloween

Mommy, these machines aren’t giving us any treat… Don’t they believe in Halloween OR trick or treat????

Wow!! yyyyuuuummmmyyyyy Cccaaannndddyyyyy!!!!!!!

My Spiderman..:-)

What??? A toothbrush?? What do I do with this,lady? I need candy...

Ok,Lets start eating candy now:-)

The treat I got for myself :-D