Tuesday, February 27, 2007


I was pushed to the limit.. I woke up and thought of cleaning since kids were asleep so I mop the floor without even going to bathroom first (saving time;-). Kids were awake by the time I was almost done and we did all the morning stuff, diaper change, taking A to bathroom, brush their teeth, give them milk, cut apple for them & went to bathroom. By the time they were eating I vacuumed, then made tea for myself. I hardly had 2 sips and had to change gudiya’s poppy diaper.

While coming back in the living room I thought of getting cashews for them. I was in the kitchen for hardly a minute and both of them started doing masti.. In less than 30 second of my attempt to get cashews, talking (yelling) at them for not hurting each other I heard them fighting for the same ball then they ran to the kitchen & I think A pushed her and gudiya fell in the bathroom. So washer her hands & feet and send her in the living room. Washed my hands, went in the living room & saw A trying to pick gudiya up and before I could say stop, they fell.. I screamed “head head” thinking she will bump her head on the floor. But somehow A kept holding her & thank God she didn’t bump her head..

Again they came running to me, I almost sat down on sofa when gudiya hit the cashew bowl & everything was on the rug, which I just vacuumed.. Cleaned that again and gave them few cashew.. Then I put a song dvd and reheated my tea again.. I just had 1 sip and saw A holding Gudiya’s hand & dancing.. Circling & jumping very fast.. Told them to stop for 10 minutes & sit somewhere (wanted to drink my tea;-).. He held her hand and was going to sit on sofa but he went too fast and dragged her.. She fell near the table & hurt her leg/knee hitting on the bottom of the table. Then I lost it.. I spanked A cuz we have told him so many times not to hold her hand & try to run, rubbed gudiya’s leg & check for any swelling, yelled, yelled and yelled.

Now Gudiya was crying cuz she was hurt, A was crying because I spanked him for hurting her (this was the 3rd time since morning that he hurt her when I was telling him to leave her alone) & then I cried (yes, I did.. remember I am a mom;-) because I can’t see them getting hurt and it makes me feel so bad. Now I had even lost my voice, well almost (because of all the talking & yelling).. It was 11:30 and A goes to school around 12:15.. So I called hubby & told him to take A out. He said where? Well anywhere for 15 minutes.. I figured I will get him ready in 10 minutes & hubby can take care of him for 10-15 minutes & it will be time for his 2 hr. school. Right after calling him everything cooled down.. Both kids were sitting with me.. It was peace for few seconds and I told A to sit on a chair & gudiya to sit on other. Then called hubby again & told him not to come since it was ok now (beside my throat & headache).

Fed them more and got A ready for school. Once he was gone, gave gudiya milk, put on dvd for her and finally had my tea & ate some food. I was feeling so guilty for yelling & spanking A but what he did was not good.. Hurting someone, even after warning, is not acceptable..

Tried to make gudiya sleep but she wanted to pull my hair, one by one.. Every time I said ouch, she giggled so I let her to be cruel to me.. Tried so hard to rest for ½ hr. but she was in giggle mode.. Then I stood near the window & waited for A. I forgot that I had set my clock 15 minutes ahead (I was soooo tired to even think) so I was there for ½ an hr. waiting. Then called hubby & he said he is coming in 10 minutes cuz that friend of mine needed lift.. In the meantime I set the trimmer to cut A’s hair.. As soon as he came back, I kissed him a lot, gave him hair cut, shower, milk & everybody went to sleep around 4:30.. hey, we were tired:-)

Everything was fine.. Hubby came home & I asked him to make tea for me as A was sleeping on me & I told him to feed the kids dinner & milk and I wanted to read a book or do something.. In those 3-4 hrs. I changed gudiya’s diaper, ate food while hubby fed them and surf the net for some information (beside spending an hr. looking for a nursing home near his parents place, to hire a nurse for his father).. Then when I went to the bedroom, he said, “I wasted 3 days and you couldn’t even think that I need to get things done”. He was referring to Friday evening & Saturday out with family and Sunday it took him all day to fix the downstairs (rented not for my use so its not considered my work) sink as it was giving problem and it was messy once he tried to fix.. He did it but it took longer than he thought.. Actually weekend suppose to be ours (mine) and I could plan whatever, then he said he had more things to do so I told him that he can have the Sunday and then I realize that if we go out on Saturday I don’t have time to clean or do any housework.. So we started going out Friday evening (family time) so that I can have the Saturday when I can do stuff or have some alone time and he could take care of the kids but now even that was bothering him..

I was furious, back to crying.. He said he didn’t mean that way but is there any other way to interpret? And in the evening he said he wanted to go to India to see his father (he is sick).. so he could take 3-4 weeks to see his family but spending time with us is a waste.. He had 4 day seminar for the long weekend and he attended that and that wasn’t waste of time either especially u r that busy.. So I was very very very angry.. I just don’t know how some guys are so emotionless & if they have few emotions they save it for their “family”(parents). You ask his parents, if they want money or see their son they will say money and you have emotions for them not us..

Anyways, after he said that, he spent more than 1 hr. to eat dinner & then called India.. Now if you have that much work to do, you should eat quickly & do ur work instead of spending hr. watching tv and eating slowly.. Worst part is that he say things and the next second he is all back to normal like nothing happened.. He is a great guy but sometimes the things he say and does hurt so much.. Im sure he don’t think of them afterwards & think everything is fine but I feel so hurt & emotional..

And I am feeling all right today:-)


Anonymous said...

Oh, this happens in every family, right? I wonder why we are made like that.
Cheer up!

Sush said...

part of life.. just cheer up :)

Sush said...

you have been tagged, please take it up

Rohini said...

And you think you've got it easier than a working mom?! No way! Can I touch your feet?

And on the husband thing, in one ear and out the other is the best way to deal with male insensitivity.

Gauri said...

Gee - what a bummer of a day G !! Hope the coming days are easier on you.

artnavy said...

oh poor you- here is a hug from me.
I know men can be so rottenly insensitive and not even realise it..here is one to make u laugh and me too now...

navy did not notice i had had a hair cut "i had chopped- from shoulder length to a mushroom almost!!"

Asha said...

Welcome to the emotionless world of hubbies!Men are like that,they don't think much after they blurt it out.Arvind is the same,does the on the weekends as if it's a chore and when he talks about "home", it's always about the one in India!
Oh well... forgive and forget G! Orelse we will be miserable everyday.Hugs.

Orchid said...

That must've been one tiring day and I am glad you are feeling better :). The hubby thing..oh well, what else did you expect? They are MEN!! and while you kept stressing over the whole thing and thought of writing a blog post about his behavior, he is probably blissfully unaware of what 's going through your mind...happens here all the time!........it's just a man thing.

Alapana said...

Men@#$%##@ What can i say,even the perfect of the Husband Word is gifted to any of us but at one or the other point they become insensitive,all part of life,Cheer up and have a smile now:) and i know you must be feeling better by now:)
And surely,Let me touch your feet for all that list of work you do in a day,Hats off to you lady.

priya said...

When ther is too much love and get hurt from them really hurts us.

When you both depend each other, words doesn't matter coz its all the situation, stress and anger which can trigger when and what we say.

Just let it go and when he really shouts, listen and keep quiet. Do not cry.

nz said...

Glad to know that you are feeling alright. I know it hurts when the person we depend on emotionally, gets a bit insenstitive. But thats a male thing and we all know that they dont do that on purpose.
But you can always depend on your blog to vent it out !! I am sure all the understanding and support u get from your blog friends helps :-)


mommyof2 said...

Thanks all for ur comments..

poorni: yeah, but fighting over some real issues and fight over insensitive comments are 2 totally different things..

Sush: Thanks.. Tag was fun:-)

Rohini: Being mom is not easy and you are doing double duty yourself:-) And why most men are insenstive?

gauri: Thanks.. Well he pretends nothing happened so these days I try to fight bad mood soon too:-)

artnavy: Thanks for the hug:-) And lol! Did you punish him for that;-)

Asha: Maybe in couple of years I will be able to forgive & forget cuz he is never going to change, but right now it hurts.. I used to ask him if all the maharashtrian guys like that cuz he is not a good example & don't let me start about his family.. Maybe it has to do with my punjabi thing cuz you know we do alot & we expect allot and this is something in our blood and I don't think it can be changed.. Now my Uncle(he is in police)is on leave since he found out about my bhua's cancer. He is home making sure she is eating & all even though they have cook, maid & all still he is home until her chemo is over.. And I remember my chacha used to call me chachi 20 times a day when she used to go to her brother's house for 1-2 days.. Now I think it was so cute and he still doesn't let her go for even a day;-) Now I came from a family like this and maybe that why I feel bad and this guy is just like a saint.. EMOTIONLESS..

Orchid: "he is probably blissfully unaware of what 's going through your mind" grrrrrr..

you know like purnima & Amavasya there should be a day when men's & women's nature exchange and we get to be all insensitive and take revenge;-)you know before marriage I had only 2 conditions, guy shouldn't be younger than me, evn a minute and he has to be sensitive with family values.. well he is all beside the sensitive part and now I think it was the main thing.

alapana: you are right but in my case he is insensitive most of the time;-)and Im very very sensitive person with overflowing emotions.

And You will be doing all everyday without even thinking that its lot of work but hey its part of the motherhood and you will enjoy it;-)

Priya:"Just let it go and when he really shouts, listen and keep quiet. Do not cry."

ahm, he doesn't shout, I do.. He makes a comment & I feel like Im on fire;-)

Keep quiet- ego doesn't let me..;-)

Don'y cry- No control over this.. I have tap attached to my eyes;-)

NZ: "a bit insensitive"- he is a great guy but it comes to us, he is ALWAYS insensitive...

It does help to post even though I don't feel it right posting about him here but I can't tell my family about that & make them think of him as insensitive person and he always try to prove that Im wrong and I always know that he is wrong;-)

You know most men have complaint that their wives don't do enough for his parents and my hubby has complaint that I do allot (overdo) and if I ask him which one is better, not doing enough or overdoing, he say overdoing.. I get so pissed.. grrrrr.. see this is the kind of specie he is still I love him;-)

priya said...

Hey, with mere shouting we just our energy and thoughts at that moment.

May be you should read about anger management and you will know what I say.

If you cry- it makes the other person think you are weak girl. C'mon. Be strong and think back how you where and bring back the strength.

Deepa said...

Oh! You definitely need a hug and here you go..... but I guess you've given it back to him through this post. So call it even. Now kiss and make up.:-)