My heart skipped a Beat..

Last night I was putting them to sleep but they didn’t want to so I told them if they go to sleep and I will take them out tomorrow otherwise I will go out alone and they will have to stay home with Dad.

My one hand was on A and Gudiya was mad at me cuz she wanted to hold both my hands but I told her to close her eyes and sleep otherwise she will be staying home tomorrow. She closed her eyes but didn’t put her head on pillow instead she started swinging her head (eyes were still closed;-). After a minute she bumped her head on the side of crib. There is bumper pad on the sides & crib is not that hard anyway. She said “Uee”, I rubbed her head & told her to stop swinging but she was all giggly and started the same with closed eyes & twitchy nose:-) After another minute she got another “Uee” then another. I rubbed her again & again and told her to knock it off, loudly. She opened her one eyes, looked at me with a smile, rolled over on my arm and came close to my face & kissed me:-). Then she put her arms around my neck & kissed me atleast 20 times. My heart skipped a beat and I almost had tears in my eyes to experience such love & see her doing all that nautanki.

My grandmother and bhuas raised me. But that time my grandmother was working and my bhuas were busy in college & job. I was wondering if I ever did that kind of stuff and if I did, did someone noticed that. I got so much love growing up, lots more than my parents could give me but seeing my kids doing these kind of things, I always wonder how can a mother forget about her child(my parents are divorced, I don’t even know my mother) and now everytime my kids do something I have noone to tell me that “You used to do this or that too:-( ”. And when I was watching gudiya last night I felt so lucky to see her doing that and felt unlucky to think that nobody was there see me doing similar stuff.