My daughter’s & My Week

Well It was the first time when we were spending any time without my son A. On Monday she was looking around & kept calling A hoping to see him running to her from kitchen or one of the rooms… It was just heartbreaking… She got very quiet last week. She wasn’t playing much, just taking toys & sitting quietly. No bicycle riding, no coloring, no sleeping during first 2 days and no eating properly. Yes, She went on almost hunger strike. She was just drinking milk. I had to force her to eat few bites of something every hr. but that wasn’t going quite well either.

I was hoping to finish lots of stuff while A was at school. I was thinking our life will be back to almost normal since I could do almost everything taking care of one kid at home like I used to, before I had her but boy was I wrong. I think it was her who needed to be in the school. Before She used to initiate things & my son used to follow her around making it difficult to do anything but didn’t think that it would still be same and very hard with only her at home with me. Needless to say everything in house is just the same as it was a week before. House is still a mess, laundry needs to be folded, no cooking done this week as I was busy feeding her every hr. and I am still very tired. I was really seeing myself very energetic at the end of the week but nope, still tired & exhausted.

Weekend is very tough. She is not letting A touch any toy since she was the queen of the house for a week & now she consider everything belong to her. She is not letting him use the computer cuz she was the one who used computer for the whole week. So in short, lots of fighting & crying is going on every second. Good thing is that she ate little better today as A was there and she was afraid of him finishing her food;-) I had never seen the jealous side of her before. Now anytime I am giving something to A first she get angry and runs to the corner of the room crying hard.

But She is getting all the love she deserves. I used to feel guilty kissing her in front of my son, even though I used to kiss A as well but she is very lovey dovey who likes to run up to me so many times a day just to kiss me and every time I kiss her back I feel guilty thinking I am only kissing her not my son. In my mind I know my son is playing or doing something and its not practical to count the kisses & kiss A the same time still I always felt bad. Now I can kiss her anytime although every time I kiss her I think of my son and still feel bad but she is getting lots of love from both of us, more than usual.

Now from tomorrow I need to work on getting her to eat well & sleep on time(she is sleeping good since Wednesday but very late in the afternoon), make a to-do list of house chores, which I can start doing at least little bit every day And hopefully we will have a normal clean house & life soon.