Heck of a day

Yeah, One of those terrible days, actually almost a week. I kindda suspected something was going to happen when I tried to do "Jot/diya" on Sunday morning and I wouldn’t lit up after 20 tries with lighter then another 20 tries with gas flame. On Monday I was doing puja & there were bad bad thoughts in my mind. Tried to shook them off but didn’t work.. I ate around 2:30 and right after eating I felt yuck & felt like throwing up badly. I called hubby to come upstairs cuz I thought I was going to pass out. Within 10 minutes I was a bit ok. He went back & came back in 15 minutes cuz It was time to pick A from school. He said you want me to go but I thought I will go cuz A feels happy to see me there.. not that he won’t feel happy to see hubby but I think after the long day I want to see him ASAP.

I started driving and felt terrible. Thought of calling hubby then I thought its just my mind since I was feeling scared thinking of whatever was going on since Sunday morning. Then I put a brave face & went anyway. Picked up my son, got back home safely (1 hr. drive), parallel park the car & was about to get out and thought the car was too close to the front car. Tried to back up a bit & instead of “reverse” it was on “drive”. I saw it going into the car ahead of me & tried to hit the break but panicked & put the foot on gas *sigh*.. Well it hit the car as hard as it could & it was rav4 in front of me. Since I hit the tire on the back it damaged the trunk floor of the car too. Felt terrible & shaky. Called hubby & told him to come down.

Well estimate of the damage is almost $4000. I am feeling soooo bad but hubby is keeping cool. I don’t know how he does it but he is one cool guy. If it were one of my side family people, they would’ve been freaking out right now. I was afraid to touch the car still I drove A to school yesterday & today. Went to drop off the car that we got for the neighbor to use. Felt shaky, still did it. I know if I was feeling that way I shouldn’t drive but with kids in the car Im always afraid of these things. I check 10 times before I put my foot on the gas or break, car in reverse or drive, but that one time really messed up everything.

Still I thank God that nothing happed to A who was in the car with me but now I will be scared for a long time.
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I remember a story where 2 angels came to earth & went to rich person asking for a room to spend a night. He gave them the unfinished cold basement, didn’t ask them for food. There was a hole in the wall & before leaving those 2 angels fixed the hole. Next day they went to a poor farmer guy with the same request. Poor guy gave them their food, their bed. In the morning they found their one & only bull dead in the field.

Younger angel felt really sad & asked the other angel about the whole thing. He asked the other angel that the rich guy was bad to them still they did good for him & fixed his hole in the wall & this poor farmer was so good to them & still he didn’t save his bull. The older angel smiled & said “things are not always like how they seem”. There was a treasure inside that hole & if the rich guy had gotten fixed he would’ve known. So we fixed his hole in the wall. And last night angel of death came to take farmer’s wife but I told him to take the bull instead.

Now even though the damage is a lot still Im glad the money is going on car repair instead of any human repair that would’ve been in the other car or one of us.